Friday, January 20, 2012
I guess I have some of it too, what they call "mad pride." I'm happy to be a bi-polar even when I'm depressed, honestly, I do not desire to be anything but what I am. This is my life, I do- do what I want.
I'm not a victim, though it would have seemed that way had I listened to all the doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and, of course, my parents. Luckily I have a short attention span and dumped the lesson that I have no control over my destiny for a feeling of mad pride.
To this day, there are people who would LOVE that I was chemically restrained. They would love that I admit that my thoughts are inferior to their superior, sane, thoughts.
Thank God, we the peculiar have made great strides going beyond the limitations society wishes to put on us, collectively, that is. Enough people are now of the mind set that the label insanity, or severe mental illness, imposes a judgment which diminishes our experiences. Therefore we are free to enjoy the ride! Explore the terrain such as LSD or other "hallucinogenics" provided to people looking for their answers, spiritual and otherwise.
To argue about this would be stupid and a big time waster, we are all fucking nuts and we know it. Now there are times we need SUPPORT. That's a different animal. Depression, lack of self esteem, feeling isolated and different, they all require some comfort from the outside as we often just need the acceptance of our personal plight.
Then you have the mania. Oh good Lord, the people I have angered when I've been "too happy." I do have a great resource of enthusiasm about life, that helps me sail past depression or crisis on a regular basis. My sister upon picking me up from jail last month, after not being able to bail me out, or know my condition stated: It looks like you've done it again...come out all right.
Since I was a teenager, I took medication of sorts for my anger. I chose marijuana as my drug of choice for my surly self. My new mindset, however, wants to remove the barrier between me and my emotions...so no to anything which suppresses this information. And yes to anger as it's part of the life experience.
And yes to everything that has to do with life. I cannot really conceive of what others might label me as and I guess I don't care. The more I make people uncomfortable the better my understanding that "IT'S NOT ME." I'm not in charge of anyone's reaction, but my own. That doesn't mean I may not encounter consequences, we all do.
It's exciting to see people steer away from labeling themselves mental and more aptly creating an understanding and acceptance of their personal situation.
One organization very much dedicated to looking at mental illness as potentially a "dangerous gift" is called "The Icarus Project." They have created an outlet for many people formerly known as "crazy" now known as "fucking crazy, but cool anyway." LOL
Check out the site: http://theicarusproject.net/about-us/2011-miscellaneous-member-reportbacks
The Bi-polar American is a lifestyle, a way of thinking, an attitude! And hopefully even a beacon for others to consider in terms of thriving and not just surviving. There is nothing about this way of thinking in terms of bi-polar that should stop anyone from having a damn good time with life. And thankfully, it doesn't matter the circumstances of your life, a Bi-polar American can create heaven where there is only hell and vice-a-verse.
And we do it...Our way!
Best wishes. Laura Hart