The Dutch and such...

So, you would think Amsterdam would be a haven for the likes of a bi-polar, pot smoking, bitch like me. But I got the impression we weren't exactly welcome, nor were the people there exactly up to being polite. Oh yes, they wanted our money, but that's where the relationship ended.

There is no "utopia" for hedonists in Amsterdam.

Americans don't seem to be exactly welcomed around the parts I've been to in my trip. Spain was much more forgiving than the Brits or the Dutch and such.

First things first...

When I first arrived at the Amsterdam airport, I had to go thru the security to get into the country. As I stepped up to the window to show my passport and explain my visit, I suddenly got the impression that I was not going into the "feel good" adventure I had hoped.

This was just one single attitude but it caused me to suddenly burst out saying things I don't normally say.

"I'll be respectful of your country - I won't litter or do any harm - I'll be careful to treat people right."

The fucking guy at the counter suddenly reacted, impressed, and stamped my passport.

He didn't smile, he was simply reassured that another American was not going to be pot laden and puking in the streets yelling at the locals.

This xenophobia is prevalent everywhere apparently.

And then there are extremes...

A young man is on trial in Norway for a mass murder allegedly instigated by his beliefs that "multiculturalism" more specifically Muslims need to be exterminated for the longevity of his country-- and he is alleged to have carried out murders because of those beliefs.

He was reported to believe strongly that the immigration policies of Norway were destroying the very fabric of his beloved country.

He believes he is a patriot.

His government believes he is insane as he killed 77 people.

There are some of us that realize the relativity of that number of people when we accept that each and every government in this modern world has waged war against "others" in the name of something and far more lives were taken in the name of patriotism.

What drives them to do such things...

I cannot imagine there are not more people out there who believe that it's the Muslims and the goddam Christians going at this crusade...again.

Fucking put down your bible and step ten feet back. Relax, it's all in the attitude.

We in America with our 9/11 anxiety decided to wage our war on "terror." This appears to have created an atmosphere of hostility with our friends in the middle east. Gosh, ya think?

This is a no win situation that is going on. The effects of our 9/11 knee jerk decision as American's to believe in the leadership of our government- President Bush- really started a problem which is making it's way around the world.

There is no way to win in a bout between Muslims and Christians. They will die for the cause, and likely kill anyone in their way. And in the end, the world will come to a close friends. Our mother earth cannot tolerate another war--especially if that war involves nukes or biological weapons.

It's always about imbalance...

I don't care what you hear from our media, they are strung out on junk news, and most of the large distributors of news are bought out for good. They took their share of the pie and have left us all with nothing but a bad aftertaste.

With such a real imbalance in this world, which is what this blog is really all about defining, there is little hope that there will be good times coming.

The good times must be the small moments we have right now, and in hopes that someone or some force will reckon this imbalance. We must do this on a personal level. We need to evolve into beings of greater enlightenment - greater tolerance - compassion - understanding - even humor.

If all of us were to begin to believe in philosophies and ideas that were worthy of the great beings that we are, we probably would not have to worry.

But, so far, there are too many still entranced in such ideas as suffering and war.

London calling...

It's been a learning experience here in London as I have dealt with everything from watching the police pull cars over all day asking for identity and proof of insurance--to the latest news that the Brits apparently can't call an elected official a "cunt" or any other pejorative term without facing some jail time or repercussions.

Wow, big brother is here and now, not off in some distant future.

Just driving from London to Leeds showed the use of cameras for such banal issues as parking. I'm sure to have been photographed numerous times during my stay here.

The Brits have had to swallow a big pill in their privacy issues on the internet recently were challenged by a government wanting to keep the peace by maintaining control.

My fucking computer knows I'm in London. My computer was not this smart only five years ago. Now, I have to face the fact that if I take this fucker with me, then 'someone," will know where I am.

There are those who would like that safe feeling that big brother is watching over them. It makes me sick even thinking about all of this.

Learning experience...

It's not so much been a vacation than it's been a learning experience. A time to see things the way they are outside my own backyard. I'm quite concerned.

Not that I was unable to see certain aspects of our society and government changing rapidly and heading for the cliff--no, I was simply unable to share this vision with others.

As I sat at a coffee shop my third day in Amsterdam, I could not shake the feeling that there were big problems beginning to surmount around me.

Then a gentleman who was a former Brit came in and began a discussion with my friend and I who were smoking some weed and drinking tea.

He was initially talking about the sight seeing and people watching, when I shrugged a shoulder at him disgusted with the things I "saw" in the faces of the local people of Amsterdam, he was interested.

He commented that I must be sensitive to see it that way. But he confirmed with me my thoughts which were that there was a problem. He began to give a name to it and made comparisons to Nazi Germany.

We shook hands when we left as my friend was made uncomfortable by all this "talk." I made a note that his head looked around keeping vigilant while telling me this news. His hand was wet when we shook hands indicating possible anxiety.

Shit yeah, we all need to be anxious if what I sensed has any truth to it. And not only that, I've been mentioning things that have "occurred" to me in the last few months. Actually, none of this comes as a surprise.

I'll have to rethink a lot of issues as I make passage back to America soon. I may have to look at a bigger, broader picture than simply the imbalance of this bi-polar American bitch I am.

Have a good day. Make your life and heart sing with joy so that world has a message to follow. Each one of us gives our energies to the many. Please don't forget.

The Bi-Polar American coming home soon...