As I suffered my regular, undiagnosed bouts of serious pain for the last two days, I had the awful thought that I may be tied to drugs for the rest of my life. They call it "pain management" and the pharmaceuticals are at the top of the list.
It really scared me to the point I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Then I realized, I'm not powerless over this thing, there must be something I can do to help myself. I want my "Lorenzo's Oil." I'm a problem solver, I hate to hear things like, "no" "I don't know" or my favorite irritant, "there's nothing we can do."
Screw them all for their lack of concern and their apparent sparingly used brain cells.
I'm on a mission for me right now too. Being disabled by an antibiotic called Gentamicin almost ten years ago was quite the eye opener.
I had to learn to see and walk again, and it took me two years to accomplish it.
Then at the peak of my rehabilitation, Grave's disease caught me as I was getting ready to restart the life.
Oh well, its been tough, but it has also been enlightening.
When I think about the nursing center in our valley hospital, it has come to a point where it makes me sick to imagine what everyone has gone through because of two people who need to be punished "at the highest level" for what they did to residents, families and this community.
I've had fantasies of taking a ride up to the hospital our former, evil, nursing home administrator fled to after she manipulated the community into believing she was true to her word.
Pictures flashed through my mind of dragging her out of there and bringing her back to face all the people she hurt. (There was a some torturing fantasies too. Botoxing her big mouth shut, throwing her in a geri-chair, and giving her dosages of psychotropics, then letting the staff have at her)
But I much prefer to do things the right way, like making sure she gets three good meals a day where she can no longer hurt people or have any power to ruin the careers and lives of others.
So many have been hurt because of her and some others, and still have not been able to recover from it.
And people stood by and let this happen.
I've been talking to a woman whose father died in the nursing center at the hospital, she still does not know what happened. They never notified her that her father died, she actually had to call the police and fire department to finally get information. Real nice.
So, I will continue, driven, to bring this horrific situation to an end so that we all can heal.
I just have to get around my own health issues, but trust me, I will find a way to do it, but do it right, unlike the government.