Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Bi-polar Bedtime Stories...

What do I find interesting?

Beginning as a young child I had serious issues about life and death. I've not talked about some of this subject matter I'm about to discuss in detail on my blog...as I don't want to get killed or detained in a mental health institute. LOL

(Oh hell, lock me up because here I go on a path to my truth. There's no stopping me now.)

When I was a few years old I would have dreams at night where I would fly to places I had never been, but was about to go and see in the near future.

My parents were always trying to convince me that I had not left the house or been anywhere during my sleep at night. However, there came a time when I told them and even proved to them I knew the layout of a home I had never been in.

It was a powerful force within me that wanted to see past the boundaries we have installed around us. Of course, I would fly at night, exhilarated to share my experience, I told my parents all about the night time activities. They argued with me that it was impossible.

So, began my life as a weirdo

Next on my young list was to master death somehow. I could not have been more than four years old when I found something dead in the road. Hell, it was mostly bones with bits of fur, but I dragged it home anyway. I cried for it's pain or imaginary suffering. I'll never forget how freaked out my parents were and how they quickly tried to wash this death off my hands. LOL

A few years later I would sit for days trying to resurrect a dead orange tabby cat on the side of the road. I figured Jesus had done it so why not do something interesting. (What would Jesus do? LOL)

Of course the cat never reanimated for me, but I did spend a few days ruminating over death while sitting with a decaying corpse.

I was being told by family and experience that death was bad - serious - and absolute. There was no way a anomaly like me could ignore the challenge of bringing the dead back to life.

The irony would be that I ended up bringing myself back to life after almost certain death. I never got far with  resurrecting dead animals but it didn't deter me from trying other unlikely things. 

You can't do that

My neighbor, who would later become my step-uncle, watched as I tried to move objects, my toys, around with my mind. I don't know how long he spied on me before he finally said, "you can't do that."


It was a big disappointment as I had failed to resurrect anything, now I was being told I could not also move objects with my mind. I had my toys set up so that I could look intensely at them and maybe they would bend to my will and actually move for me.

"This sucks," I thought as I took the criticism too seriously.

People create reality and no one wanted me to be walking around bringing back the dead and potentially hitting them with objects unleashed with only my mind. And they also would not let me take Karate either. I'm sure for the very same reasons. LOL

Short story for today, but one that I hope will keep me thinking of...why the hell was I doing that.

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