Monday, September 28, 2009

What have I done now? Started another fight?

It's been arguably, one of the most trying weeks of my life, and that is saying a lot.

But I just cannot take the crap any longer. As you all know I am a bi-polar reporter with an agenda which always seems so idealistic and Pollyanna, that I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I do care about people and the universe I am treading upon.

I've often put others ahead of my own needs and wants , but as I've been antagonized to no end, by people who should know better, I've had to make a decision on upcoming strategies.

First, the local newspaper is going to be sued. They have been nothing but a thorn in my side, and even after many threats, have continued their practice of getting me mad. It's not as easy as you may think.

I don't like to be mad, in fact, I prefer to spread good will, but there are those who in their ignorance of the world, who would think that fighting with me would win them some award.


Fighting with me, is a bad deal. I do not and will not, roll over in submission. I'm a bad dog, and if you're not up to it, you will regret taking me on.

I think our local newspaper is about to find out what they only dreaded could happen: they started a war with me.

Personally, even I would not be as stupid as to ire the likes of who I am. If there's even a notion that someone is being hurt or victimized, I will be on it, like a hawk on a rat, and I won't let go.

Yes, we are learning here in the Kern River Valley that one person can and does make a difference.

We all have the potential of being more than who we think we are, and have much more influence than we thought we could have. Thank God for that. Strong individuals make strong communities.

I am no longer interested in making people okay with my message, in fact, I don't care anymore as to the response, I care about the outcome.

It's been a long, arduous battle with the Kern Valley Healthcare District in Mt. Mesa, but it's been worth the effort.

I get emails thanking me for caring. Isn't that sad?

What happened to compassion in this world? What happened to standing up for what you believe in?

It seems to be gone.

I'm not doing this fighting to make a name for myself; apparently that has already happened without my knowledge. (There are good reasons for these battles, and then there is the real reason.)

I'm doing this because in some dark recess of my mind, I think that I can make a difference. How stupid am I?

Well, I'm stupid enough to have spent a good amount of time and money fighting a battle, which in the end will hopefully serve the community and future residents of our Kern River Valley.

The good things in my life are the ones that have made me think, made me stop and wonder with awe what this life is all about.

Someone called me the other day with good news and thanked me for my continuing plague on KVHD. I told him, if that is all that happens out of this, it is worth it to me.

I hardly know this person, yet over the course of time, phone calls, raw emotions, we have bonded in an unusual way: I am fighting for him and his family.

When I realize the magnitude of the events which have occurred and the lives that were scorched, in some cases squelched, along the way, I'm in shock most of the time.

But good things can be squeezed out of everything, you simply need to know how to do it.

I've prayed to make certain things right in my life, and I cannot say that I am disappointed with the outcome.

Just getting a chance to fix the past is an extraordinary opportunity. I don't like to leave things undone and unfinished.

Now, I'm about to undertake (sounds so mortuaryish) something I've never done which will require all the certainty I can muster: I'm about to fight the embedded miscreants of this valley: a karmic endeavour I imagine.

Nobody has done it...nobody wants to do it...but somehow I and the universe, I bow to, thinks it must be done.

Will I perish? I could. I've factored in my own vulnerabilities into the equation. I'm not exactly physically or emotionally strong enough for what I'm thinking of doing here. But, guess what, that never mattered before and it doesn't matter now.

You want a fight? Well come and get it mutherfuckers; I've got it right here in my pocket for you.

A friend of mine asked me almost nine months ago, what I thought I was doing in this crazy situation with the healthcare district.

I told her, I'm doing what I do best.

She asked, "what's that?"

"Fight" I said.

If you know me, you know it's true. If you really know me, you then know I don't really like to have to do these things, I would much rather have decent people around me, and live a more peaceful existence.

But somebody has to do it. And God made people for certain things and I guess this is my thing.

Don't get me wrong, I may not like it, but I am good at it. And those who choose to wrangle with me, will get what is coming to them.

As I tell everyone, if you're not a lying sack of shit, you have nothing to worry about from me. But if you are...

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